


Gingerbread

by wirewrappedlily



Series: There's More Than One of Everything [1]
Category: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, Supernatural, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Author is a madwoman, Clint and Tash aren't who they used to be, Curses, F/F, IMF is actually SHIELD, M/M, No one tell the bureaucrats, SEALs, assorted shit, don't ask just read it, reincarnation...kinda, they just fuck shit up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 17:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wirewrappedlily/pseuds/wirewrappedlily





	Gingerbread

New York was known for its crazy people. 

With Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton under one roof, it kind of goes without saying that New York is home of some of the craziest motherfuckers to ever live. 

And, on the days when Banner, Rogers, Stark, Romanoff, and Barton were all elevating and feeding into and off of each other's crazy, Phil Coulson could count himself among the raving mad, too. 

The man's eyes were so blue they looked like they could glow, and his trench coat looked like it'd seen an entire war and was worse for wear. He could almost be a tax accountant--maybe he had been, before the economy did its nosedive--if it weren't for the sheer, raving zealotry in his scruffy features. 

"They are not who they seem." The man sounded like he'd gargled with gravel that morning, pointing at Romanoff and Barton, both innocently pretending they didn't have weapons ready to take the loon out if he seemed to be threatening their ex-handler. "Beware what will happen when the curse comes. It's power only grows with age." 

"So does the whiskey you've been hitting too hard, there, buddy, now back off the guy in the suit and I'll get you a burger." Barton drawled, turning to face them fully. 

Coulson glanced over at Romanoff and Barton for a millisecond, but the flapping sound of the damn trench coat pulled his attention back. The guy was gone. Vanished. Nothing there to see. 

"That's not a good sign." Romanoff sighed, shifting her weight like a cat and rolling her eyes, "There's gotta be some way to keep the crazies from getting their hands on cosmic power." 

"I will dare you now to take that up with Strange or Wanda." Barton challenged around his smirk. Romanoff shook her head, sighing. 

"You in one piece, boss?" Romanoff asked, focussing on Coulson. 

Coulson shook himself, straightening up in his suit and putting on the mantle of 'handler' like it'd leash the two lunatics he would always love most. "Of course I am, but Director Fury is waiting."

"You know Charlie: always calls at nine o'clock." 

"Yeah, Barton, but we're hardly angels." 

"You're hotter than Drew Barrymore, that's for damn sure." 

"And you've got a better butt than Diaz." 

"Nat, flattery will not get you back into my pants." 

"If I wanted in your pants, Barton, you'd be naked and handcuffed to the headboard." 

"We did that, though." 

"Prague was fun." Romanoff purred graciously, letting Barton hold the door for her into headquarters. 

"Ever think we should take a page from Harry Potter and have the entrance to S.H.I.E.L.D HQ in a toilet?" Barton asked, turning slightly so that he could fit through the hall with his broad shoulders. 

"Barton, think of the toilets we've been in around the world. Would you really want to have to go through _that_?" 

"...Point." 

Coulson rolled his eyes skyward, and wished for a scrap more patience and sanity.


End file.
